Clara dipped a fry into a side of campfire sauce, unimpressed. "Silas, we’re at a burger joint in a strip mall. You can’t 'buy' a beer map here. You just buy a Stella or a Blue Moon and go home."

"The Cardinal’s Secret, Todd. I know you have it in the back. Next to the extra ranch."

The fluorescent hum of the Red Robin in suburban Ohio was the only sound until Silas slammed his fist onto the sticky laminate table. Between a basket of Bottomless Steak Fries and a half-empty freckled lemonade, he unfurled a tattered, coffee-stained map of the United States.

Todd blinked, shifting his weight. "Uh, we have Bud Light on draft?"

Todd sighed, leaning in close. "Look, man. My manager’s watching. But if you buy the 'Year of Yums' gift card and the Beer-Battered Fish and Chips... I might accidentally leave a coaster on your table that you’ll want to keep."