Norm Macdonald: Hitler's Dog, Gossip & Trickery Apr 2026

He had this theory, you see. He called it the 'Law of Universal Gossip.' He believed that if you whispered a secret into a hollow log in the woods, the wind would carry it, the birds would tweet it—literally tweet it, before that was a thing that made people angry—and eventually, the secret would find the person it was about.

Like Norm’s bits on George Washington , it starts with a premise about human nature and devolves into a specific, absurd character.

"You ever hear about this fellow, Archibald? No, not the guy from the cartoons. A real fellow. Lived down the lane from my Uncle Terry. Now, Archibald was a man of great conviction, which is usually a polite way of saying he was out of his mind. Norm Macdonald: Hitler's Dog, Gossip & Trickery

And that’s the thing about gossip, you see. People think it’s this mystical force of nature, this grand trickery of the universe. But usually, it’s just a lady named Gladys seeing you act like a weirdo in the woods.

The postman stops, looks Archibald dead in the eye—the real one, I assume—and says, 'Archie, I heard a rumor you’ve been talking to trees again.' He had this theory, you see

Here is a story written in that "old-chunk-of-coal" voice, inspired by the themes of Hitler’s Dog, Gossip & Trickery .

And the postman says, 'No, I heard you’ve been telling everyone I have a glass eye because my wife saw you crouching behind a bush near the oak forest talking into a log like a lunatic.' "You ever hear about this fellow, Archibald

So, one day, Archibald decides to test this. He goes deep into the forest, finds a rotted-out oak, and whispers: 'The postman has a glass eye.' Now, the postman did not have a glass eye. Archibald just wanted to see if the 'trickery' of a lie would travel as fast as the truth.