Even if you could find a legal loophole, penguins are among the most difficult animals to care for:

: If you were looking for "Penguin" of the literary variety, Penguin Books offers plenty of classics. Note that they don't accept unsolicited manuscripts—you'll need a literary agent for that.

Penguins are protected under several international and national laws. Most notably, the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES) heavily regulates their trade. In many countries, including the U.S. and UK, it is illegal for private individuals to own one. They are generally only available to accredited research facilities, zoos, and aquariums that can provide professional-grade care. 2. High-Maintenance Houseguests

: Penguins are highly social and live in large colonies. Keeping just one would be cruel; they require a "party" of at least 20 friends to be happy.

: Organizations like the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) allow you to "adopt" a penguin. Your donation helps protect their natural habitats from climate change.

: A penguin's diet consists entirely of raw fish, which leads to... pungent living conditions. 3. Better Alternatives

If you are determined to have a penguin in your life, there are ethical ways to support them:

While the idea of a tuxedoed bird waddling around your living room is undeniably charming, the short answer is 1. The Legal Cold Front