Billie Eilish - Fingers Crossed // Lyrics -
She closed her eyes and pictured a kitchen filled with steam, the smell of burnt toast, and a laugh that sounded like bright yellow paint. She held that image behind her eyelids, squeezing her fingers until they throbbed. A floorboard creaked behind her.
The world outside didn’t end with a bang; it ended with a dial tone.
Elara didn’t turn around. She couldn’t. If she turned and the room was empty, the hope would evaporate. But if she stayed exactly like this—breath held, eyes shut, fingers crossed—he was still there. In the silence, in the song, he was just a second away from saying her name. billie eilish - fingers crossed // lyrics
She looked at her hands. Her knuckles were white, her fingers literally locked together in a tight, aching braid. It was a superstition she couldn't quit. If she let go, the fragile silence of the house might shatter. If she let go, the person she was waiting for might never find the door.
So she stood there, a statue of devotion, waiting for the bridge of the song to finally break into the light. She closed her eyes and pictured a kitchen
She walked to the window. The street below was overgrown, the pavement cracked by stubborn weeds. A rusted car sat abandoned at the curb, its door hanging open like a tired jaw. She pressed her forehead against the cool glass, her interlaced fingers pressing into her palms. "I'm still here," she whispered, her voice a dry rasp.
Elara sat on the edge of her unmade bed, the static of the radio filling the gaps where a voice used to be. The lyrics of a song she’d heard a thousand times—one about holding breath and hoping for a miracle—looped in her head like a broken record. Fingers crossed. The world outside didn’t end with a bang;
Elara was scared of the wind. It sounded too much like someone whispering her name from the hallway. She was scared of the dust motes dancing in the afternoon sun because they looked like memories she couldn't quite catch. But mostly, she was scared of the truth: that the person she was crossing her fingers for had already let go of hers.