6.9 / 10 Comedymusi... | Exclusive · SECRETS |

Determined to break the 7.0 barrier, they decided their next show needed more "edge." They booked a gig at The Iron Lung , a club known for hosting experimental noise bands and depressed poets.

Review: "The Funky Fiddle has pivoted from 'bad puns' to 'unsettling performance art.' It’s still mostly about cheese, but now it feels like a threat. I liked it." 6.9 / 10 ComedyMusi...

Barnaby adjusted his pizza-synth, unbothered. "Artie, look at the breakdown! We got a 9 for 'Vibe' but a 2 for 'Lyrical Depth.' Apparently, people didn't find the fourteen-minute ballad about a sentient toaster 'intellectually stimulating.'" "It was a metaphor for the Cold War!" Arthur shouted. Determined to break the 7

The review score was the final blow for "The Funky Fiddle," a musical comedy duo consisting of Arthur, a failed classical violinist, and Barnaby, a man who played a synthesizer shaped like a giant slice of pepperoni pizza. "Artie, look at the breakdown

"A 6.9," Arthur whispered, his bow trembling. "Barnaby, we’re a meme. We aren't even a 'solid 7.' We're a suggestive decimal point."

Barnaby nodded, already programming a "melting mozzarella" bass drop. "Next stop: an 8.0. Or at least a very aggressive 7.2."

Arthur swapped his tuxedo for shredded denim. Barnaby added a "crust" setting to his synth that sounded like a garbage disposal fighting a lawnmower. They walked onto the stage to a crowd of three people: a bored bartender, a guy named 'Stitch' who was knitting a sweater out of copper wire, and a professional critic from ComedyMusicHub.